stuck in a survey in About Me. Go check it out. =)

I can't believe what is in front of me,
The water's rising up to my knees
And I can't figure out how the hell I wound up here.
Everything seemed ok when I started out the other day
Then the rain came pouring down and now I'm drowning in my fears.

As I watch the setting sun,
I wonder if I'm the only one.

'Cause everybody tries to put some love on the line.
And everybody feels the broken heart sometimes.
And even when I'm scared I have to try to fly.
Sometimes I fall, but I've seen it done before
I got to step outside these walls.

I've got no master plan
To help me out or make me stand up
For all the things that I really want,
You had me too afraid to ask.

And as I look ahead of me,
I try and pray for sanity.

'Cause everybody tries to put some love on the line,
And everybody feels the broken heart sometimes.
And even when I'm scared I have to try to fly.
Sometimes I fall, but I've seen it done before,
I got to step ouside these walls.

These walls can't be my haven,
These walls can't keep me safe here
And now I guess I've got to let them down...

- These walls by Teddy Geiger

Ohhh....Shiseido Pureness' moisturizer is soooo good! It's very light and refreshing, unlike Clean&Clear which can get very heavy and feel...cloggy. I WANT!!! Shiseido Pureness is made especially for young and active skin aka teenage skins. Like ours. Where hormones usually play a huge role in breakouts.

By the way, I do get breakouts now and then. My skin is normal combination and not normal.

If I get that Pureness moisturizer, chances are I'd feel a lot better putting on my foundation and make-up over it then when I use Clean&Clear. But then, that is an over-the-counter product...isn't there any moisturizer that isn't tt heavy and also priced affordably? Perhaps I shouldn't use a cream based moisturizer since the weather nowadays is such a pain in the neck. And if I ask the pharmacy to recommend, they probably recommend something expensive. So it all goes down to...

Trial and Error.

Mannnn, this is my skin I'm talking about! More importantly, it's the FACE. If it's on the arms or legs or butt, I can still cover up more or less...but I can't walk around wearing a scarf tied over my whole head.

Unless I get concealer...but all the perspiring caused by stupid weather will get rid of them by the time I get to harbourfront. How to last for the whole day?

I found out that...I've only got 1 paper which is ACCOUNTING! THE HORRORS! Ok, so I don't actually do all the tutorial questions...but I'm always stuck in them. I won't be around online and all that much because school is getting freaking heavy. A lot of deadlines to meet, a lot of group meetings, a lot of online quizzes and...I need to go figure out my accounts.

I'll work hard. I want that DHL again. I want to graduate with merit. Getting that is not so much as a proof of my capabilities to others as it is to myself. And to my parents who have never pressurized me in my work but trusted me to use my time wisely. And also to my competitive, sometimes edgy relatives who likes to compare schools. Sad to say, I recently analysed myself and realized that my school results are what I'm safe and secure with, now that ballet is out. Apart from home, which is my number one sanctuary.

Of course, it is all about reputation as well. There are some politics that occurs in school...now that school is teeming with HTM students. Name and reputation spreads, people talk and know you because of your connections or achievements. Such a small world, really. Almost like a corporate place or something. Not saying that the environment's hostile, but sometimes you just can't meet up every single day. You'll soon get sick and fed up and...bored.

One more week of school. Gogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogo.

I hate doing a stupid balance sheet. Once it comes to doing a trial balance, I found out that my balance sheet isn't balanced. So I rechecked every single darn thing but NOTHING IS WRONG! Haiya. And my accounts test is in a week's time...

Annnyways...Got tagged by Alicia to do this.

10 years ago I was...
8 years old...that's like...primary 2? I was still in BNPS with a huge bunch of friends who keep telling me that I'm too nice and soft-hearted. Hahaha.

5 years ago I was...
Sec 1 and just entered SAC, joined SJAB, joined PC Council, started Pre-elementary for ballet...realised that Mei Yi and I were in the same CCA! =D Quit going to sunday church classes.

1 year ago I was...
A first year TP student who likes to go check out all the canteens' milo with friends and vote for the best tasting milo which is also most worthy of our money.

5 snacks I enjoy...
Chocolate, Pistachios, hobjes( an Indonesian toffee which isn't too sweet, really really sticky and with chunks of cashew nuts inside. Yummm...), ice cream, cookies~

5 songs I know all the words to...
Eh...Alone by Nana Mouskouri , Confessions of a broken heart by Lindsay Lohan, Feeling good by Michael Buble, Sway by guess who? Michael Buble again...Don't Cha by Pussycat Dolls. Actually...I know most of the hymn and worship songs by heart more than I know secular ones...haa.

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars...
Get a new house, go for a long luxurious vacation, buy new clothes for my whole family, buy new handphones for them, deposit money into all of my family members' (and of course, my own) bank accounts. =)

5 places I would run away to...
To run away from school: Indonesia, Frankfurt, Paris, London, China to visit my great grandma and grand aunts and uncle!

5 things I would never wear...
A body hugging dress (no way. That's just super disgusting on me.), a mini skirt, tube top, spandex bottoms (like...cat suits, you know.), boots.

5 favourite TV shows...
One confession: I hardly watch TV nowadays...but the 5 are So You Think You Can Dance, Supper Nanny, Arrested Development, CSI, Whose line is it anyway?

5 bad habits...
Being lazy and a procrastinator. Jealous of my private time dedicated to me, myself and I, I will actually switch off anything (from hp to msn) so that I don't get disturbed. Being bossy at times...=(. Being late...even when I know I will be late, I didn't try to get out of my house earlier, haiz. Whine and complain and upset others when I myself am upset so that they aren't too happy in my sight.

5 biggest joys...
BED. God. My familyyyy. My friends. My laptop. wheeeeeee

5 favourite toys...
I love all my soft toys...brings back alot of memories...but to pick out 5, they would be- Jenny (the doll that sits on my bedside), xbox, PS1, my large Mickey and Minnie dolls which my dad paid about $100 as a gift ^.^, this stress ball I used to have which also could bounce but one day I was so stressed I slammed the ball onto the ground and it flew out of my window...and I never found it again...=(.

5 fictional characters I would date...
Uh...Harry Potter? But I think he's younger than me...Cedric Diggory maybe, but he's dead. CONSTANTINE- ugh! He's so broody and angsty and...charming...but he doesn't love God...Sherlock Holmes for his utter brilliance but I heard he's very queer looking. Lastly...Maybe Hercule Poirotbut he is old as well as dead. Haiz...his death was so sad and dramatic...

5 people I shall tag to do this...
Hehe...anyone who wants to do this. I'm too lazy to go tag at people's tagboard since most are busy with school.

Happy studying folks. I got to go back to doing my accounts.

I got Teddy Geiger's CD!!! That kid's actually the same age as me...no wonder I thought he looked a little boyish. And angsty. Yeah...today, mum went mad. Kept insisting I buy things...like bra. And I'm like, well, I want that t-shirt bra...but then it costs $79.90 and I'd rather wait till Truimph has another sale. So...ended up buying a pair of new slippers, a top from Esprit and...the CD. And that's enough larh, I don't want anymore...I don't want to go spend my parents' money...I'd rather spend them with my own.

That is, if I get a job.

Currently...super super broke. I've got only $13 to survive till June and I don't want to ask my parents for more...I feel guilty enough as it is...

Maybe that shopping spree was supposed to be a reward for getting into the Director's Honours list. Some ppl actually got into DHL as well as topped a subject in the whole of business school! That's like..woah. And there were 3 people who actually got DHL and more than one academic awards. Some guy started walking up the stage from the start of the announcement that he got DHL as well as the individual awards and by the time he walked down the stage, then his name was called. He got like...5 or 6 awards?! Smart guy sia...then...went shopping with my family.

Ok, not really. My sis left halfway to go home and play WOW so I continued shopping. Wanted to buy Moby...but then his songs were pretty much around the same, all alternative sort. The first few were not bad but then I start to get bored. So I switched to Jason Mraz but people kept screaming at the background so I decided, nah...go listen to Teddy Geiger. So far...ok larh. I mean, he's really got talents, not like just some...folks with big dreams (e.g Ashlee Simpson). Next time I'll get Black eye peas...or Michael Buble? I don't know...not really one to buy CDs since I simply tend to import them into my ipod. Ouch, wasting the money...

Now...I'm sleepy after the caffeine jitters go off...So I'm sleeping.

http://www.go-quiz.com/acronym/acronym.php

Go check that out. I tried to copy and paste the hyperlink but something's broken in there and I can't figure out what. Haha...so I simply copied my results down from the website.

C- Courageous
I- Intense
N- NORMAL (see that Xiu Mei? Haha)
D- Dysfunctional
Y- Young

How can I find something that two can take
Without stumbling as we walk into our future's wake?
I'm like a broken record that you can play,
Repeating as if it matters everything I want to say.

I'll be alright
As long as it matters
As long as you're here with me now.

Forget that time it's nothing that we touch and see
All this is fine even if it crashes down on me
I'm looking around there's nothing that I could want
More than to tell you there's no more that we've already got

I'll be alright
As long as it matters
As long as you're here with me now.
I'll be alright
As long as it matters
As long as you're here with me now.

Forget that our time is almost up...

I'll be alright
As long as it matters
As long as you're here with me now.
I'll be alright
As long as it matters
As long as you're here with me now.

-As long as it matters by Gin Blossom

Two ways mothers are similar to God:
1) Their love is so unconditional, so amazing and so forgiving...
2) They loved us even before we were born. =)

Happy belated Mother's day. If I were to go up on stage and talk about my mum, I would simply go up there, proclaim she's the best mother in the world even if she can't bake cookies and makes silly mistakes that can be quite embarrassing...and then I would cry.

My eyes are slowly closing as I write this...which is rather strange considering I drank 1 and 1/2 glasses of latte: one flavoured with Irish Cream, the other with almond sirop.

We learned how to make good coffees today. Hoho. We also learned how to use the semi-auto coffee making machine, which is actually relatively simple. I didn't get to practice on how to make the different coffees (coffee, espresso, latte, cappucino) ...but I did drink the drinkable ones.

Haha. And we had a short cocktail session. Mr. Ignatius Lee made 5 types:

Blue lagoon, which turned out to be...green instead.

Grasshopper, said to be a favourite among the ladies and I can see why. It's made of cream and creme de menthe or mint liquour. The end result is creamy, minty and sweet, though you feel a quick lingering burn of your throat and taste the bitterness of alcohol at the sides of your tongue.

Dry Martini, which we had shaken instead of stirred. A.k.a the way James Bond has his martini. Personally I don't know why people like to drink it. It looks like a lychee drink, but tastes darn bitter and...dry. Duh. Dry martini's got to taste dry (dry in alcoholic term= not sweet), makes your mouth dry(not in any jargons this time). This burns down your throat and the bitterness lingers on your tongue.

Black Russian on the rocks. If my alcohol tolerance improves a lot, I might get addicted to this one. Creme de cacao is added into this rather strong drink. One small sip totally burns down your throat, you feel the effect for about a good 5 minutes or so. Even your breath when exhaling through your nose feels hot. But the taste of chocolate...though the aftertaste is a mixture of sweet yet bitter (bittersweet!), is still quite delectable.

Lastly, and the one I didn't want to risk trying is something called Samoka? Semoka? Samoca? Haha, I have no idea. I only know how to pronounce. I'm not sure what it's made of either, but I know it is topped with coffee beans. This is incredibly strong so I skipped...the guys were starting to talk pretty loudly and some of the girls' faces and ears have turned red. Yet they still drank a sip. It's amazing they didn't get too high afterwards while practicing clearing the table and changing table cloths.

And guess what? Students in TAS do get to buy these drinks when operation starts next week! But we are only allowed them after school, since the lecturers didn't want any...yeah, in class and lecture halls.

To end off, I realise nowadays, my reaction to most things are: what the hell.

Something I stole. Go Googles, type in ' looks like', record down the quotes that follows and then report back on it. So here it is:

Cindy looks like an average doll- 18 1/2 inches of blond hair, baby-blue eyes, and a button nose.
Cindy looks like Herbet Marcuse.
Cindy looks like she just ate.
Cindy looks like she's plotting something (o.o)
Cindy looks like she's had the Thetan scared out of her.

Yeah, that's all the results that were listed up. It has been fun while it lasted.

I realise that my goal on sleeping by 11pm has, by far, not succeeded.

Ok. And now to put PBL to use. I'm so proud of myself.

Facts: I am tired but I feel as though I cannot sleep because I want to catch up or do something more.
I need to talk to PEOPLE- Though I do need my own selfish time, I still want people to talk to and hence, msn comes to use.

Ideas: Poor time management. Not used to sleeping earlier than 11.30pm. Mind is not tired enough (too cluttered and restless).

Learning issues: How can I better organize my time? How can I do some brain work that will tire my mind? How can I fulfil my thirst to connect and talk to people through msn? How can I tire myself out so that I can sleep? How can I discipline myself to sleep by 11pm?

Actions: Keep planner always by my side even though it's superly heavy. After school, finish work, finish msn by 9.30pm. Brush teeth before mum and dad does. Plan day ahead, put tasks on paper<<
Done, I got my solutions. Let me put them to the test.

Today, I am reminded once more that God will make a way, when there seems to be no way. I knew this song since...primary school? We sang it today. Nearly cried, so nostalgic. HA. But yeah, God will make a way.

Choose to rejoice. The awful 'Rejoice in the Lord always' song played over and over in my mind...thanks to mass during school. Wow. But, I agree. I think one area I lack badly is in cheerfulness. I can't. Honest. It's difficult, and so for those who knows me in the morning and at night when I get tired...yeah. I whine, I complain, I snap, I make stupid excuses (like not cutting across the Blk 85 market at night because the satay smell will stick to my hair and pass it to my beloved pillow) and lastly, I just lose it man. I completely lose it. I don't know what I talked about.

Ok, so sometimes my words do haunt me the next day. That is if something drastic happens like...I don't know. Having a particularly deep and fierce debate about God and Satan for example.

Oh crap. Another action to take: update blog latest by 9.30pm!!! It's now 11.15, by the time I brushed my teeth, did my stretching and prayers, it would be...11.45. Better start now.

And I still need to cut my nails and double check this entry for grammer, vocab and spelling errors...

sotellmehowamisupposedtoleadwheniamlikethis?

There is only one way. Carry the cross and follow or put it down.

Even Jesus had Simon the Cyrene to help him carry. Surely we, who are so weak compared to Him, will have one too?

"For I am the good shepherd. I lay down my life for my sheeps. No one takes my life away from me but I lay it down on my own accord."

You know you're stunning
You're absolutely stunning
And I'm running, always running
And now I'm crying
It's only cause I'm caring
And if you were more daring
Maybe you'd stop staring
And come over and talk to me
Tell me bout how you've been waiting so patiently
And how you tried but I just turned away
And I'll say yeah, well you know
I'm shy that way

Shy that way
Maybe I'm shy that way

Oh, you know you're stunning
You're absolutely stunning
But you're always running
But I'll catch up to you
The way you keep your distance is
Keeping my interest
So I'll keep it persistent
Oh maybe, someday
Someway, somehow in some town
We'll get together and
We'll break it down
And I'll ask you why you've been
So shy, gotta be that way
Maybe baby, oh love, I like it that way

Shy that way
You know I love you so shy
Shy that way

So keep it coming, coming, coming, coming
Shy that way

There's always too much talking
And I wanna just keep walking
But I keep staring, baby, keep staring
Though I may not know the right things to say
I'll get it out to you one day

I'm shy that way
(You're shy that way)
Do you like it, do you like it
When I'm shy this way?
(Yes I like it, yes I like it
When you're shy that way)

Shy that way

I like it
I like it shy
You know it's alright, it's ok
Cause we're
Shy that way

- Shy that way by Tristan Prettyman (a girl btw) and Jason Mraz.

This is one...well, sexy song. Lately, I find myself a sucker to such lovey dovey romantic stuff. Not the super mushy ones or blah by people like Britney Spears though.

Is this good or bad?

And the voices of a million angels cannot express my gratitude...- My tribute

I can't begin to say just how much I love my family. Though ok, I'm closer to my mum. But ever since I started poly and knowing about business and stuff like that, especially after I worked for dad, we've grown closer. And I really thank God for that, that I have the chance to get to know him better. That he's not as alienated as he used to be (which when I think about it, I used to cry...because life must have been so lonely for him...).

Currently downloading Jason Mraz's songs, recommended by Amy. And it's so late at night...got to sleep soon.
Many thanks to my mummy!! As in, my real mother. Yeah, thank God she helped me in preparing tonight's dinner, which is my present to dad. And Rachel for coming down with me to Bedok Centre on such short notice because I needed to get ingredients...

Menu-

Starter: Cream of broccoli and chedder, made from scratch it actually isn't as complicated as it looks.

Main: Risotto with sausage

Dessert: Chocolate dipped frozen bananas.

Cake: Chocolate marshmallow, new one from Prima Deli.

And now...Alicia's blog's quiz. Which Cindy were you refering to btw?

8 points this perfect lover must have:
1)Godliness, someone I can submit to
2)An understanding and patient heart, to tolerate me...
3)Cooking abilites, hahaha. So I don't have to crack mybrains daily
4)Driving ability too? Even if I get carsick easily.
5)Looks. Superficially speaking.
6)Responsibility and reliability.
7)The hands and the fashion sense! Sorry, one of the things I take notice of a guy is his hands.
8)Humour, to be cheerful and sociable.

Gender: Male duh.

8 victims:
1) You
2) You
3) You
4) You
5) You
6) You
7) You
8) Guess who? You again!

There's no such thing as a perfect male larh. So...I mean, I would prefer a guy with faults actually. Having too perfect a guy makes me feel too imperfect, and then...where is God in this picture? Yeah...Sorry, anyone who wants to do it just do it larh. Haha, I'm not going to check. And now, time for sleep.